How to Get Your New Year’s Resolution Back on Track

With each new year comes a new opportunity to better ourselves. We vow to kick our sugar addictions, call our parents more, and check Facebook less. Yet within weeks, most of us are back to snacking, screening parental calls, and mindlessly scrolling through our newsfeeds.

But before you become one more person observing Ditch Your New Year’s Resolutions Day (yep, it’s a real thing; January 17 is the day most people throw in the towel), know this: There’s still time to revamp a resolution that’s losing steam and initiate the lasting change you aimed for back on January 1. “The most important thing is to first figure out the top reasons why resolutions fail, and then use that to get back on track,” says behavioral psychologist Art Markman, PhD.

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Markman, the author of Smart Change: Five Tools to Create New and Sustainable Habits in Yourself and Others explains the top five reasons New Year’s resolutions fail—and the small tweaks to make to fix each mistake.

Your resolution is framed in a negative way

We often make resolutions around what we want to stop doing instead of what we want to start doing, says Markman. “When you have a behavior you’re trying to change, whether it’s eating less or checking your email fewer times a day, you actually have to put another behavior in its place,” he explains. “The key is to focus on a positive action that you’re going to perform in the situation where you were doing the old behavior.”

So instead of vowing to give up a certain behavior or do without something, frame your resolution around the new positive action you will do in place of it. Let’s say you want to quit mindlessly scrolling through your phone at night. Instead of pledging to turn off your device by 10 p.m., vow to start getting ready for bed at that time instead. This way, you unplug digitally while rewarding yourself with more sleep—a positive action that can motivate real change.

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Your end goal is too vague

Resolving to exercise twice a week sounds like a solid plan, but it isn’t targeted enough, says Markman. “Your goal has to be so specific that the actions you’re going to take [to accomplish it] can make it onto your calendar,” he says. “‘Twice a week’ isn’t on your calendar, but ‘Mondays and Thursdays at 4 p.m.’ is.”

Getting specific doesn’t just help you realize what you need to do in order to see your resolution through; it also highlights the things that could get in the way of it (think: your weekly manicure also scheduled at 4 p.m. on Thursdays). Start accounting for all possible roadblocks, and add into your planner the steps you’re taking to get them out of the way so you can actually make it to the gym, rather than make excuses.

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You don’t address the root cause

In order to carry out a resolution, you need to know the who, what, when, where, and why of the behavior you’re trying to change. For example, if want to stop biting your nails, pay attention to the circumstances under which you engage in the habit.

“I encourage people failing at their resolution to keep a habit diary for a week or two,” says Markman. “Not so they can change their behavior, but just to watch it and see what they’re doing.” Once you realize that you always bite your nails while anxiously finishing a work project, you’ll be better equipped to take actions to stop it—like buying desk toys to busy your hands throughout the day or just being more mindful about keeping your fingers on your keyboard as the deadline ticks away.

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You think it’s all about willpower

Willpower is overrated. According to Markman, people often believe their commitment is enough to prevent them from falling back into their bad habits. Sadly, a pantry full of cheese popcorn isn’t going to magically become less tempting just because you’ve told yourself you’ll stop gobbling it down while you watch Netflix.

“At this point you’re riding the brakes,” says Markman. “Your motivational system is reminding you of the snack in the kitchen and you have to rely on your willpower to keep you from eating it. But just like in a car, if you ride the brakes long enough, they’re going to fail.”

The solution? Rather than relying on willpower, structure your environment so the thing you want or habit you’re trying to break is so difficult to get or do that won’t bother attempting it. Because you can’t eat a pint of ice cream you never bought, right?

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You’re going at it alone

News flash: If you succeed in carrying out your resolution, no one’s going to say Congratulations, but it’s not that big a deal because you had a support system. “If you find yourself ditching your resolution, phone a friend,” suggests Markman. “Find somebody who’s willing to serve as your backup so that when you’re about to slip, you can call or text them for support instead.” Crushing your goals doesn’t count any less if you do it with a little help from your friends.

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Kim Kardashian’s New Fragrance Campaign Claims to Be Body Positive

Kim Kardashian just dropped some major hints on Instagram about the second rendition of her KKW Body fragrance. It seems like this time around, she’s aiming for a message of diversity and inclusion.

Over the past few days, Kardashian has been posting close-up photos of women’s bodies that cover a range of shapes, sizes, and skin tones. She did a similar tease before the launch of the first version of the fragrance, but all of the photos were of her own body.

The photos she posted last time hinted that the fragrance bottle would be shaped like herself. So the new photos could suggest that the new bottles will be shaped with body diversity in mind. Now that’s a beauty product we could get behind.

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But while much of the Internet is applauding Kardashian for her attempt at body positivity, others are questioning how inclusive the campaign really is.

“Love this, but hair is humanly. So where is the hair?” one user commented, referring to the fact that none of the models appear to have any body hair whatsoever. (Unlike real women, of course.)

Another user had a hard time believing Kardashian’s body-positive intentions. “Love that you’re showing body diversity, however I’ve seen many times on your show how disgusted you and your sisters were with the very thought of stretch marks and cellulite.”

That user is referring to the uproar around the show a few months ago, when Khloé praised Kim for her “anorexic” waistline in a series of videos shared on Instagram. That’s not a good look for someone who is now claiming to promote self-love. 

RELATED: Kim Kardashian Is Being Praised for Her New ‘Anorexic’ Looks—and That’s Triggering and Dangerous

Okay, so the KKW Body campaign might not be the most progressive we’ve seen (sorry, but #AerieREAL still takes the cake in that category), and we don’t typically associate the Kardashians with body positivity. Yet this is still a step in the right direction.

Sure, the campaign might not include body hair, but it does celebrate women who are much more realistic looking than the models we typically see in beauty product ads. And since Kim Kardashian is a trendsetter, hopefully other brands will follow her example and kick the inclusiveness up a notch. 

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This Woman Went to 17 Doctors Before Finally Getting the Right Diagnosis

If you’re a woman, chances are you know what it feels like to have a doctor not take your pain or symptoms seriously—especially if you have a chronic illness. If you know what it’s like to have to see several different health-care providers before finally getting answers, you are not alone, and now, a viral tweet is pointing out how often—and how many—women deal with this issue.

It all started when writer Suzannah Weiss tweeted about her own experience. It took her 17 doctors and 11 months to finally get to the bottom of her condition and receive treatment for it. Along the way, she experienced misdiagnoses, wrongly prescribed medications, and even being told that her symptoms were all in her head.

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Since Weiss shared her story, almost 100 women have come forward to talk about their own experiences, and it’s horrifying to see exactly how many haven’t been taken seriously by their health-care providers.

“When I share my story of doctors dismissing my health concerns, shaming me, and not being able to figure out what’s going on or how to help me, I’m always blown away by how many women can relate,” Weiss told HelloGiggles. “Research shows that doctors are less likely to treat women’s pain and take longer to diagnose women (the average time it takes for endometriosis to get diagnosed is six to 10 years!). Women, like the ones in my thread, often describe doctors attributing their symptoms to anxiety or depression—or, worse, telling them they somehow brought their illnesses on themselves.”

RELATED: How to Actually Get Your Doctor to Listen to You

She continued:

And it’s not just about being dismissed by doctors. Weiss also believes that the way women’s bodies are viewed in general is part of the problem.

“Another part of the problem is a widespread view of the female body as inherently defective, leading to the normalization of symptoms like painful periods, pain during sex, and sexual dysfunction,” she said. “These issues should not be considered normal, as they compromise women’s quality of life and point toward underlying problems that need addressing.”

RELATED: 15 Diseases Doctors Often Get Wrong

Weiss is right—and the women responding to her tweet are proof.

Hopefully, women speaking out about this issue will help bring change, but until that happens, remember that it’s okay to be your own advocate and to demand the care that you deserve. It should be a lot easier than it is to get proper care, but it could change your life to find a doctor who will listen.

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